Good gravy. The past week to week and a half or so I've been steadily throwing myself into more of a panic about what I've been doing for grad school. I'm a second-guesser by nature, but lately it's become third and fourth-guessing as I can feel that dreaded six-letter word - THESIS - peeking at me from around the corner. My typical manner of working on art is to fiddle around with three or four projects at once, while trying to push away the new ideas that pop into my head so that I don't find myself working on 27 projects at the same time. I know that I need to focus now so that I have a really good, solid body of work come January when I graduate...but what to work on? It's gotten to the point a couple of times where I go into my studio and just freeze up, not working on anything because I'm not sure what project I should be devoting my time to, or if any of them at all are worth it.
On Sunday I went to visit Liz, my mentor, with these problems in mind (Liz, if you're reading this, I think I left some USGS maps at your house in a cardboard tube! Hold onto them for me until our next meeting, would you?). I really knew I was in trouble when she would ask me important questions about the work and I responded with a mixture of broken sentences, primitive grunts, and silent pauses long enough to drive a Mac truck through. Part of the problem is that I've tossed aside so many of the projects I've done since I started the program. I let go of Polaroid emulsion lifts (which in hindsight is a good thing, since they've now discontinued ALL of their instant film. Bastards...), the mannequin tintype series I think is still interesting but not what I want to pursue right now, and the old Woodstock hotel series and anything that seemed purely "nostalgic" has taken a back seat as well. To top it off I'm rethinking the Gettysburg work and really can't make much more progress on it until I go back in April (having a full-time job and being on a tight budget can be a drag). Now I've thrown maps and mapmaking into the mix and...yeah, I really felt like I was spread too thin.
Two things have helped since the panicking began. The first was a suggestion that Liz made to me during our meeting. She wants me to write an artist's statement NOW, which concisely encompasses the works that I want to pursue at this moment. The results of this are below. The second bit of help was something that was right under my nose and yet I so rarely take advantage of: the advice of Sarah, my fiancee. Maybe it's because she doesn't have a great knowledge of contemporary art, or maybe it's because she tells it EXACTLY how she sees it and never ever holds back (what a strain to my precious little ego!), but I tend not to ask her too often for her critique of my work. What a mistake. Yesterday I brought her up to the studio and explained to her what I was trying to do and just told her, "let me have it." Her knowledge of history and her very honest perceptions actually helped me a great deal, and now I feel a lot better about the work.
So here's the Artist's Statement of the moment. Hopefully it won't change too much by the time THESIS rolls around:
Every landscape has its own histories, both natural and human. A landscape, or a space, becomes a place to us when we begin to feel that we know it on a personal level, and we create our own history with it. However, this knowledge comes in many forms, and is also very subjective. The artwork I create deals with my knowledge of the places I have become familiar with, and how it compares and contrasts with the knowledge of others.
As I stated, knowledge of place comes in many forms. Memory, nostalgia, recorded history, and science all shape the way we see the landscape. History is a story that changes in meaning as it is told in new iterations through generations. We try to solidify human events through words, maps, memorials, etc...but these are mere abstract symbols that are constantly jostled and warped by the passage of time. It can become easy to misunderstand a place and its history, to become so wrapped up in a particular moment that one cannot see anything beyond it, or to feel that a place is so familiar that one overstates their knowledge of it. This can happen on both personal and cultural levels, for a multitude of reasons.
I am using a mixture of mediums and imagery - photographs on glass, maps, encausitcs, etc. - to explore my own connection to the landscape as well as cultural connections. I combine the scientific with the personal to come to new understandings of place, as well as to discover the limitations of such knowledge.
Hmm...still a little too broad. What do all y'all think?
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kevin,
it has taken me forever to respond to this post. I really do apologize. I did read it when you first wrote it, but wanted to look over it again and think about it before I responded. i look forward to seeing you next week. I will email you with times and location ideas. and I will not forget your maps. curious to hear about R&F and all the other things you have worked on since last month.
First I would like to comment that this statement is a wonderful start. I think that many artists have an incredibly hard time writing about their own work- analyzing it and creating a strong statement (especially while they are still making it!). I say this from experience. It seems like you are at ease with writing and I believe it will help some things surface about this work. You have a strong grasp on the concepts that you are working with. You have a couple of different ideas at play but I think that is totally ok. what i am really waiting for is to see your personal reasons for being involved with these topics to surface within your statement. That will help to connect it all together. Work with your childhood (living near Gettysburg)- work with your love for maps- work with your present (reconstructing an old barn)... Let your own history be a map for these concepts. why does it all interest you so much? what is it about maps, history and historical reinactments that you are so attracted to? Understanding this emotional connection that you have to this may not come easy but will be a wonderful next step for you.
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